amy

My mother passed away on 25th Jan this year. She was suffering from lung cancer only we didn't know this until just before Christmas and doctors said she would have been in a lot of pain.

Obviously I was devastated, but the thing was I never really cried. Until now. I am only really starting to feel the pain and heartache of it and and everything reminds me of her, My life has become impossible to live because I miss her so much and I always seem to be crying. When people ask me why I'm crying i don't really know what to say. I can't stop thinking about seeing her lying in the hospital and she was always sedated so I couldn't even tell her how much I loved her. I can't cope. Please give me some advice. Why is it now I'm feeling the pain instead of when it happened? And what should I do?

Peaceout

First off let me just say how sorry I am for your loss There is no greater pain then loseing someone you love...

There is no <i>normal</i> way to feel after an event such as that, but some people have tried to put it into stages so it can be understood greater.

There is a thing called the 5 stages of grief, and while it is by no means a reliable guide to "how" grief works, it can shead some light on some things.
The 5 stages are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

what you are going through and the feelings you are having seem like you are going through the Depression stage of your grief.

Sometimes it takes a while for the full force of what is happening around us to break through into us. It can take days, weeks, even in some cases years, to fully come to blows and terms with the way things have changed.

A newer concept of grief is that of TEAR

T = To accept the reality of the loss
E = Experience the pain of the loss
A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost object
R = Reinvest in the new reality

As you can see there is no right of wrong or wrong way of feeling in a time like this, but I hope that this infomation takes a bit of the weight of your shoulders.
If you ever feel like your emotions are getting to strong for you to cope then please come and talk to us, or friends and family. We are here to help you, and give you a place to vent if need be

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss, and can totally understand why you would be feeling the way you do.

__________________

~*Dani*~

Under a Gaelic Moon

Bananas

I think you've probably heard this over and over, but sometimes we don't realize what we've got until it's gone. Think of it this way, at least she's not here and suffering. As for worrying, you should pray to God (or whoever you believe in) every time you get the chance, and hope that he bless your other loved ones, too. I hope that helps.